The following steps represent my plan for increasing my safety and preparing in advance for the possibility of further violence. Although I do not have control over my husband's violence, I do have a choice about how to respond to him and how to best get myself and my children to safety.

I cannot always avoid violent incidents. In order to increase my safety, I can, though, use a variety of strategies.

1. If I decide to leave in an emergency, I will practice how to get out safely. What doors, windows, elevators, stairwells, or fire escapes would I use? I can teach these strategies to my children:
2. I can teach my children to call 911.
3. I can teach my children to flee the house or hide during a violent situation. I must instruct them to never try to break up a violent incident.
4. I can keep my purse and car keys or copies ready and put them: if I have to leave quickly.
5. I can tell the following people about the violence and request they call the police if they hear suspicious noises coming from my house or see a certain signal initiated, as the porch light on during the day.
6. I will use __________ as a code word to signal my children or my friends to call for help.
7. When I expect my husband and I are going to have an argument, I will try to move to a space that is least risky, such as:

   I will try to avoid arguments in the bathroom, garage, kitchen, near weapons, or in rooms without an outside exit. If possible I will run from the house or to a room with an inside door lock. I can buy a rope ladder for the room with the lock and also install a telephone so that I can call 911.

8. During an attack, I can wrap my arms around my head to protect it from blows and curl up to protect my stomach. Generally, I will not verbally defend myself or argue with him during a beating, for he is irrational and might become more violent. If I feel that I can act in self-defense (hit, run, scream for help because it is nearby) to save further injury, I will. After an attack I will see a doctor to assess the injuries. I may be more severely hurt than I realize. I recognize the importance of reporting this assault to the police.

Leaving is a risky time, for your husband might retaliate, so plan carefully how you will depart. Size up the enemy. Of course, don't tell him you are leaving. Leave when he is out, or if that is not possible, tell him you are going on an errand.

1. I can use some or all of the following safety strategies: I will decide with whom I can leave the following items: money, an extra set of car and house keys, clothes for the children and myself. If I don't have a car, I will determine in advance if I can take a bus, train, or borrow a car.
2. Places to go if I leave my home: If you choose a private home, phone the owner and ask permission. A shelter may be listed here as an option as well. Call in advance and find out the procedure. __________________
3. I will decide where I can hide important documents in my house to grab quickly when I flee.
4. If possible, I will try to take the following items when I leave. Those that I can gather in advance, I will hide.
   • The Safety Plan
   • My birth certificate
   • Children's birth certificates
   • Social Security cards
   • School and vaccination records
   • Money
   • Checkbook, ATM card
   • Credit cards
   • Keys: house, car, office
   • Driver's license and car registration
   • Welfare identification
   • Work permits
   • Passport(s)
   • Marriage license
   • Divorce papers
   • All medical records
   • Lease/rental agreement
   • House deed mortgage-payment book
   • Bankbooks
   • Insurance papers
   • Small saleable objects
   • Address book
   • Photographs
   • Jewelry
   • Children's toys and/or blankets
   • Items of special sentimental value
5. Telephone numbers I need to know:
   • Crisis hotline: memorize it!
     National Domestic Violence Hotline
     (800) 799-SAFE (7233)
   • Police station, school security force, and work security force
   • Children's schools and my school (if applicable)
   • My work number and my supervisor's home number
   • Battered Women's crisis and shelter numbers
   • Minister, if he is supportive
   • County registry where I can register my restraining order.
     (There may not be such a system available to you. If there is, it is easier for a police officer to arrest your husband should he violate his restraining order.)
   • Other telephone numbers
     _____________________________________________
     
     _____________________________________________
     
     _____________________________________________
6. I will open a savings account to increase my independence by the following date: ________________
7. I can keep change for phone calls on me at all times. I understand that if I use my telephone credit card, the following month the telephone bill will tell my batterer whose numbers I called. To keep my telephone communications confidential, I must either use coins or I might borrow a friend's telephone credit card number for a limited time.
8. I will review the Safety Plan every month to reevaluate the safest way to leave my residence. Review dates:
   
   ________________
   
   ________________
   
   ________________
9. Names of violence-against-women advocates or friends who will help me review this plan periodically.
   
   ___________________________________
   
   ___________________________________
   
   ___________________________________
10. I will rehearse my escape plan and, as appropriate, practice it with my children.

But I can do the following things to prepare for my future, should I leave:

1. Return to school to update skills.
2. Explore sources of supplemental aid.
3. Find out about free day care, should I need it.
4. Find out how to apply for welfare, as well as what income and services to expect. Write a projected budget.
5. Find out how to apply for assisted housing. You can call your local YWCA, Coalition of Labor Union Women, Department of Human Services, or Social Service organizations for information about these programs. Other ideas for increasing my independence are:
   
   ______________________________________________________
   
   ______________________________________________________
   
   ______________________________________________________
   
   ______________________________________________________

There are many things I can do to increase my safety in my residence. It may be impossible to do everything at once, hut safety measures can he added step by step.

1. I can change the locks on my doors and windows as soon as possible. I can install solid-core doors with dead bolts.
2. I can install an electronic security system. I can use window bars and poles to wedge against doors. I can buy an alarm device (about $9.99) to attach to the doorknob. The alarm buzzes loudly if someone breaks in, alerting both me and my neighbors (I'll tell them about it) that someone is in the house. I can get a dog that harks loudly. It is vital to know if your abuser has broken in. One woman reports that her abuser crawled in through an upstairs window and brandished a knife at her, threatening to cut off her hands. Fortunately she escaped.
3. I can purchase rope ladders to escape from second-floor windows.
4. I can install smoke detectors and purchase fire extinguishers for each floor in my residence. Your abuser might set your house on fire.
5. I can install an outside lighting system that lights up when a person nears my house.
6. I can trim back bushes and vegetation around my house.
7. I can ask a couple at church to stay with me if I am particularly frightened.
8. I will have my children memorize a few telephone numbers to phone collect should my husband abduct them (list numbers):
   
   ________________________________________
   
   ________________________________________
   
   ________________________________________
9. I will tell people who take care of my children which people have permission to pick them up. I will stress that my husband is not permitted to do so. The people I will list for pick-up permission are:
   • At school
     
     _____________________________________________
     
     _____________________________________________
   • At day care
     
     _____________________________________________
     
     _____________________________________________
   • At babysitter's
     
     _____________________________________________
     
     _____________________________________________
   • At Sunday school
     
     _____________________________________________
     
     _____________________________________________
   • At my parents' or other relatives'
     
     _____________________________________________
     
     _____________________________________________
   • Others
     
     _____________________________________________
     
     _____________________________________________
10. I can inform the listed contacts, as well as friends and neighbors, that my husband no longer resides with me and they should call the police if he is observed near any of the listed settings or my residence. Should my neighbors not know him, I can provide a photograph. (List friends and neighbors.)
    
    _____________________________________________
    
    _____________________________________________
    
    _____________________________________________

I realize that many batterers obey restraining orders, but no one can be sure who will and who will not. I realize that I must be particu­larly careful as violence can escalate when there is a restraining order. I also recognize that I have a fifty-fifty chance of being stalked. I will take the following actions to help the enforcement of my restraining order.

1. I will keep it on or near my person. If I change purses, the order will be transferred first.
2. I will give copies of it to police departments in the communities where I live, work, visit family or friends, and to the county registry of restraining orders (if one exists).
3. For further safety, if I often visit other counties in my state, I can file my restraining order with the court in those counties. I will register my restraining order in the following counties:
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   _____________________________________________
4. If I move to a new state, I will call the district attorney and list my restraining order, for it is valid in any state. I must always have it on my person.
5. I can call the local violence-against-women program if I am not sure about any items concerning my restraining order.
6. I will inform the following people that I have a restraining order in effect (my employer, my minister, my closest friends, relatives):
7. If my husband destroys my copy of the restraining order, I can get another copy from the courthouse located at:
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   ____________________________________________
8. If my husband violates the restraining order, I can call the police to report the violation, contact my attorney, call my advocate, and/or advise the court of the violation.
9. If the police do not help, I can contact my advocate or attorney and file a complaint with the chief of police.
10. I can also file a private criminal complaint at the district attorney's office or police station in the jurisdiction where the violation occurred. Each item my abuser violated is a crime, and I can charge him with each violation. I can call a violence-against-women advocate to help with this procedure.

I must decide whom I will tell that I am separated from my husband, explaining why I am at risk to be injured. (If possible, choose people who will appreciate your need for safety.)

1. I can inform my boss, the security supervisor, and the following people at work of my situation:
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   _____________________________________________
2. I can ask_________________ to help screen my phone calls at work.
3. When leaving work, I can take these actions to be sure I get safely into my car:
   • Have two people walk me to my car.
   • Wear a bracelet that blares an alarm when the button is pressed.
   • Carry a container of mace.
4. When driving home, if my husband follows me, I can do the following:
   • Invest in a cellular phone and call 911.
   • If all else fails and I am trapped and must pull over, I can lock the doors, lean on the horn, and yell fire, hoping to attract help.
5. If I use the public transit and my husband appears, I can:
   • Carry a cellular phone and call 911.
   • Inform the driver of my problem and ask him to radio for help.
6. I can shop at different grocery stores and shopping malls and go at different hours than I did when I lived with my husband.
7. I can choose a new bank and go at different hours than I did when living with my husband.
8. I will list ways to prevent my husband from abducting the children at school or attacking me there. (You might have to change schools to be safe. If you have moved to a different school district to escape your husband, inform your children's principal of the risk and ask how his staff can best keep your children's presence secret from your husband. Stress the gravity of your situation. Many times husbands track down their wives through learning where the children go to school.)
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   ____________________________________________
9. I will inform my pastor that my husband might show up and harm me or abduct our children. With my pastor's help, I will develop safety measures at church. You might have to change churches, difficult as that may be, because church is one place your husband knows where to find you.
10. To assure my safety in public (eating out, walking, going to church), I can also:
    
    _____________________________________________
    
    _____________________________________________

Battering and/or verbal degradation has emotionally exhausted you. The process of building a new life for yourself takes courage and incredible energy.

1. If I feel down and ready to return to an abusive situation, I will do the following things to avoid it:
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   _____________________________________________
2. When I have to communicate with my husband in person or by tele­phone, I will do the following things to lessen emotional turmoil:
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   _____________________________________________
3. I will memorize scriptures that assure me the Lord is with me. I willmeditate on these verses when I am afraid. For example, 2 Samuel 22:49: "He delivers me from my enemies. You also lift me up above those who rise against me; You have delivered me from the violent man." List scriptures:
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   _____________________________________________
4. When others try to control or abuse me, I will tell them that their behavior upsets me. Some things I can say are:
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   ____________________________________________
5. Daily, I will commit __________________amount of time to Bible reading and ___________________ amount of time to inspirational reading to gain spiritual and emotional strength.
6. For spiritual support and practical advice, I can call:
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   _____________________________________________
7. Character traits I can work to develop to make me stronger spiritually and emotionally are:
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   _____________________________________________
8. I can attend workshops and support groups at a women's crisis center, and I can strengthen my relationships with Christians through Bible study groups and church. List of groups:
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   _____________________________________________
   
   _____________________________________________